Dating Tips


9 Sure Fire Cures for the First Date Jitters (and It's Not Just Alcohol!)


Happy black dating couple.jpg

There is often a direct correlation between interest in a date and the anxiety experienced before that date (i.e. the more interested, the more nervous). It can be a good kind of nervous – adrenaline and endorphin-inducing… or it can be of the terrifying variety – stressful and paralyzing.

In an effort to curb your nerves, you may be tempted to have a drink… or six. It is surprising how many people embrace this manner of self-sabotage. More effective and positive types of relaxation, however, include the suggestions below.

Sure fire cures for first date jitters:

1. Get a haircut

Basically, just give yourself a cosmetic kick in the pants. Look like you, but the best you. Haircut, new clothes, shined shoes, whatever makes you feel relaxed and confident.

2. Talk to your best friend

Call a friend or close relative for a pep talk. Odds are you’ve completely forgotten how awesome you are. Getting some outside (but loving) perspective can restore your swagger and remind you of why your date decided to go out with you in the first place.

3. Set a drinking limit

We’ve all seen the dating shows where one of the daters gets nervous and inhales a bottle of vodka. Don’t let this be you! Establish before-hand (read: SOBER) a limit on alcoholic drinks. There’s always pink lemonade and coffee if you’re parched.

4. Make sure to hit an ATM

In today’s age, money can get one out of many-a-jam. And the lack of money can have the opposite effect. Before being stranded with your date, eliminate potential embarrassment and unease by lining up some funds – cash, credit cards or both. (It’s always the best to have a variety of options in case difficulties arise.)

5. Give yourself enough time

There is nothing more stressful than being late. (In the car, it can even be dangerous.) Know yourself, consider traffic and…

6. Print a map

Sure, we all have GPS on our phones, but you can be confident a hard copy isn’t going to lose power on you (or get an incoming call, or drop the signal, or go into Bluetooth mode – you get the idea). Make sure you have your date’s phone number as well, so you can let them know of any delays.

7. Make reservations

Failing to make a reservation is a stress guarantee. It also implies a cavalier disregard for the date itself – as in, you weren’t interested enough to plan ahead. Remember, long table waits are mood (and date) killers.

8. Think up some conversation jump-starters (for the crickets moments)

Nothing is worse than feeling a connection with someone and then hitting the conversation dry spot. But the awkward “well, what are we supposed to talk about now?” moment that many black singles experience can be easily averted if you spend a few moments thinking up topics ahead of time. Current events, recent movies, anecdotes and personal interests are always winners.

9. Bring mints

If you think a kiss is imminent, you certainly don’t want the moment marred by breath concerns. And trying to forgo the moment will hardly endear you to your date. Take a lesson from the Boy Scouts: Be prepared.

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