Dating Tips for Black Women

Just a few things I've learned alone the way...

Notice what kind of tipper a man is.

I once went out with a guy who drove around for twenty minutes looking for a parking space on the street, even though we were already half an hour late for our dinner reservations. I could not imagine that it had anything to do with the $4.50 valet charge. The restaurant was very nice, the service exceptional. When the bill arrived, my date promptly paid, only to have the waiter return and inquire about the service. My date assured him the service was fine. I watched the waiter attempt to get some sort of understanding as to why the tip was so low until the guy reluctantly gave him more money. I asked, "What did you tip?" The guy said, "Nine dollars." I asked how much the bill was, to which he responded, "Ninety dollars." As I realized that this very educated, very well-traveled man had chosen to tip a waiter who had given us excellent service a ten-percent tip, I reflected on the wisdom of my father, "If he is cheap with a waiter, he will be cheap with you. And who wants to date a cheap bastard?" That was our first and last date.

Don't sleep with a man on the first date, unless you really, really, really, really, really, really, really really want to.

Then, if you really wanted to that badly, you are not allowed to second guess yourself the next morning. I had a roommate who did just that. She brought a guy home whom she'd just met, kept me up all night, then after he left the next day, asked, "Am I a slut?" Whether or not she is a slut is not the issue. The issue is, if you're going to do it, be pretty damn sure about it. But as a rule, wait until you know him a little better. That might be the second date. That might be the second month. Time will tell, but only if you give it time.

Let go of the silly rules.

You know, the ones like he has to work out six times a week for you to even consider a date. My cousin is five-eleven-and-a half and has always been a sucker for the basketball player-type. Six-three and above. She loves to wear high heals, so the taller the better. But when she met a guy barely five-foot-nine, she was unprepared for hard she would fall. They are now happily married and just had their second child. You never know in what package God will send your soul mate to you.

By Elyce Strong for


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