Silent Nights? Online Conversation Starters You Must Try

According to Online Dating Magazine, more than 40 million single Americans have used dating sites at one time or another. Of that, three million are married or in long-term relationships. Online dating has come a long way since it began entering our homes in the 90's. Even with such favorable figures, many people have a hard time breaking the silence and changing their status from single surfer to committed couple. If you're struggling with what to say or how to begin a conversation, you're not alone. The key is taking the time to read each profile and construct your introduction so that you go from pen pal to first date in no time.

Caught on Film
It takes a lot of thought and vulnerability to post a photo online. If want to get past the cliché "Hello, how are you?" scan their picture and find a detail that would otherwise go unnoticed. Maybe they're rocking some nice bling, their hair was styled special or they're sporting a hot tie. Why keep the compliments to yourself? Open up your first email with a sincere expression about something you noticed. Flattery is a great way to get someone's attention.

Rapping to their Beat
You've just found someone online that you'd like to get to know more about but you don't know what to say to get the conversation started. Read their profile and make note of their interests. Most people will list the activities they enjoy most such as basketball, photography, or shooting pool. They could mention that they like comedy movies or that they like to sing. If they've given you any of this information in their profile, they've made your first introduction easy. Ask them what the funniest movie is they've ever seen or how long they've been snapping photos. If you're brave enough, you could even end the email by inviting them out for a competitive game of pool or a fun-filled karaoke night.

Say "Yes" to the "Don'ts"
The first thing to do when you see a person you may be interested in is to check out their "do not like" list. This list contains a goldmine of information that will put you ahead of the others if you qualify. Most people don't read it or they ignore what it says and they end up sending an email that never gets returned. Sending a photo with your "Mom" tattoo to someone who doesn't like body ink, could be an instant deal breaker. Check out the list of things that are off limits and find a person whose criteria you meet. When you do, let them know straight up by telling them that you don't smoke, you're taller than 5'7 and you've never been married. Agreeing with their "don'ts" gets you closer to their "dos"

Putting in a little time and effort is all it takes to get a response. Try these conversation starters next time you're online. At the very least, these techniques will show the person receiving the email that you're respectful, a good listener and that you're serious about meeting someone new. Now, who wouldn't respond to someone like that?

Lori is a writer living in Brooklyn, NY. She is currently working on her memoir-in-progress, Single to Baby.

By Lori Bizocco for


Meet Black Women

Free to Browse

Black women know this is the perfect place to meet single black men. Women who see themselves as beautiful, successful, fun, outgoing, will have great success on Black dating has never been so easy.


Meet Black Men

Free to Browse

Black men know this is the perfect place to meet single black women. Handsome black men will have great success on Black dating has never been so easy.



  I have a man! Don't need to look any further! Thank U for being here, BlackPeopleMeet!  

More Success Stories